The importance of the front porch
Welcome to my porch!
In 1999 I lived in a rural area of Michigan, and we had one of those old lovely farm houses that are both the blessing and curse of your life. It was where I made a home with my husband and children. It was where I made friends and where lots of love and laughter happened. It was a place of peace and shelter. Where we were poor and then seemingly rich. Where necessity was the mother of invention and where life was lived. I learned so many things in that little house. My husband knew he would die and wanted me to have a porch. A place to sit, visit the neighbors and friends who meant so much to me through our lives. He finished it just before he died. It was a wonderful addition to our life. It made our home not only beautiful but inviting. My greatest regret in life is that after he died I sold that little house and went away from all of those beautiful memories. So, why write about it? I believe people are better in many ways when front porch living is part of their social landscape.
Front Porch Dating
No one does front porch dating anymore. Remember when you used to drive by or ride your bike by the house of your love interest and wave, smile and just generally show interest. If you were lucky, you were able to stop and have conversation on the front steps. Eventually to the porch and maybe lemonade. Then you were able to go off the front porch for walks, for a short ride after church. Sometimes you could have lunch on that big ole porch. Then came the blessed day you were invited in to meet the family; to eat at the table and as things progressed you may even have been allowed to use the back door. This type of dating was methodical, served us well in knowing who we were inviting in and taking time to know someone before any commitments of any kind. Now everyone bypasses the porch for the bedroom and we wonder why nothing works. There is no unfolding of the mystery, no enjoyment of the understanding of what you are really getting into, just instant gratification and a speedy exit to the next in line. Society and relationships would be better if we slowed down again, kept it to the porch for a bit. Lets consider the beauty of a conversation on the porch with the smell of the flowers, fresh cut grass and the laundry vent spewing the clean smell of drying laundry. Talking into the night without phones and by the light of the porchlight. The gentle swing of the porch swing or the gentle rocking of your favorite rocker. Seems a good setting for a beginning anchored in friendship and warmth.
Neighbors on the porch
How many times I think of the neighbors in my old neighborhood. The nights we were all on our porches with our individual family only to wander over to see what someone else was doing. I had a lawn swing before I had a porch. My little girls and I used to sing in the cool summer evenings and neighbors would wander over and enjoy a time with all of us. When the porch was built, we had rockers, couches and chairs on that beautiful porch. It meant the world to my husband when he was dying that he could go onto the porch and watch the neighborhood children. That his friends would know it was a good time to visit, and he loved those men on our street who would wander over and bitch about the fence they just finished or the stray dog or any other thing. All of that normality that my husband was missing. It meant so much, those crazy mundane conversations. The memories of lunches, barbeques, songs sung and just plain fun is wrapped up in that porch.
Support on the porch
Our porch was a place of support. Babies coming into the world, kids running away, husbands who were behaving badly, my porch has heard it all. Women in general share, they are verbal and need to talk it out in private to feel better and be supported. There was no shortage of support given and gotten on that front porch. One of my favorite memories of that porch in a supportive manner was Dave’s last Christmas. He was in the hospital, and did not know if he would be able to come home. When he was released, he was so happy but I had not had time to decorate. His favorite time of the year was Christmas, and I was sad that he would go home to a house that had not been decorated. As we rounded our corner onto the street the porch was lit up like daytime with twinkling lights. The decorations on that porch were so beautiful because my sweet friends had thought of doing this simple act of service. It was not wasted or ever forgotten. A porch is a place of refuge and an icon of love and service.
Come to the porch, sit awhile and relax. Get a drink, tell a story, share some love. Just come sit awhile no matter why you are there.