By the Ponds Edge Watched at Play (a tribute to Ben)
I walk upon this winding path to our favorite pond
I think of love and you and loss and swear I see you just beyond.
I came upon the pond and beach where once a young boy played,
Now wishing that so very much, we had more than stayed.
I think of other times with you, with your red hair gleaming in the sun,
your little pail filled with sand and your face was filled with fun.
And as I walk, I think of you as you ran here with your team.
Your hair now long your body strong as you competed, long and lean.
Then as a man with struggles, pretending that you didn’t care.
But then I saw you sleeping on your bed with Ollie snuggled there.
Within your arm so gently as he took his last two breaths, you came home for your kitty. Your heart. is the best.
By the door I watched quietly as you slept and held your friend, never did think it was possible that you were coming to your end.
My heart was full that evening as I stood there in the door, feeling hope and pride and love as my daddy tears plopped to the floor.
No matter what your choices were, no matter what you’ve done.
The loss of you my dearest Ben, my only lovely son,
Is just too much for days to bear sometimes I go to sleep
and see you by the pond we love in water near knee deep.
And in those dreams Ill meet with you until the time has passed
when on a distant shore again, we will meet at last.
And life aside and pride all gone, no blame to give or share
I will reach out for you and then again, I will stroke your hair.
The wind will whisper of our love and time will melt away and once again you’ll be my boy by the ponds edge watched at play.
THE BACK STORY
My friend Paul’s son Ben passed away from substance use at a very young age this year. This has probably touched more lives than we like to think, and Ben was a great example of a life that was ended before it could ever begin. As I have sat and listened and cried with my friend on the proverbial front porch, I learned about my friend’s son whom I never met. He was bright and funny and everyone loved him. Alcoholism in a young person is tragic. It changes their brains, personalities and thwarts their opportunities. It takes their lives. My friend received the first of 3 phone calls that signaled the long process to the ending of a life. The terror and helplessness is real. So today, for Paul and really anyone who has had a son or daughter who has died from substance use, remember, the world has enough judges. What the world needs is a front porch with a good listener and maybe a tall glass of lemonade. Mental wellness depends on our listening ears and our quiet mouths. RIP Ben, you are a good son, friend and all around good egg. To Paul, I feel for your loss and for the lonlieness that is now taken up residence in your heart and soul. Be strong my friend, keeping a chair open on the porch for you.